


You Were Never Mine

by newbuddiefan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abby Comes Back, Closure, Established Relationship, No mutual pining, Past Relationship(s), eddie and buck are husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:40:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23999914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newbuddiefan/pseuds/newbuddiefan
Summary: It's been three years since Abby Clark left LA... and Buck. Now she's back and ready to apologise for what she did and in doing so, find's out that Buck has most definitely moved on.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Abby Clark, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 659





	You Were Never Mine

Three years had passed since Abby Clark left Los Angeles. What started as a trip to Ireland turned into an exploration of Europe and while she came across many cities that she would have loved to settle down in, LA was calling her back. She missed her job, her friends, her apartment… and Buck.

Abby could admit she hadn’t always done right by him, that she used him as a distraction from her mother’s alzheimer’s and for a shoulder to cry on when Patricia lost her battle with the disease. They tried to keep the relationship going while she was in Europe, but it was too much. She couldn’t fault Buck for trying, he was always the one to message first, checking in to see what a new day had brought for her. Abby didn’t know why, maybe it was the desire to cut ties with her past life, but eventually she stopped replying and Buck stopped trying. Until one day, while on a bike ride in Amsterdam, her phone beeped. It was a message from Buck, letting her know that he was moving out of her apartment and that he wished her the best of luck.

That had been over two and a half years ago and now it was time to go home, to fall back into the monotony of her past life. As soon as she landed, she headed to her apartment. The people who had been renting it since Buck moved out had left the place just as she had all those years ago. Abby placed her hand bag on the kitchen counter, the silence deafening as she looked around the lounge room that was once her mother’s bedroom. Without her mother and Buck, the place felt empty.

As she took a seat on the couch, she couldn’t help but remember the last time she was here. Buck closed the front door behind them as they left, Abby thinking it would only be a few months before she was in her apartment again. He told her he’d look after the place, keep the bed warm and the fridge full for when she returned. But Buck had moved on, he wasn’t here anymore. Abby had deleted her social media accounts before she left, she didn’t want it to be a distraction while she tried to find herself on this trip. This meant she no longer followed Buck on instagram and had unfriended him on Facebook. She’d left her phone on the cushion beside her, her fingers itching to search his instagram username that she remembered so well. She picked up the phone, her thumb hovering over the instagram icon and thinking of a username for a new account.

“No, stop,” Abby told herself, exiting the app. Instead, she opened her contacts, scrolling until she found a familiar name.

“It can’t be, the Abby Clark!” Carla’s laugh echoing through the speaker, “How have you been, girl? Marry a nice European man yet? Maybe living on a vineyard in the south of France?”

Abby laughed, telling her no she was single and back in LA. The conversation went on for ages, the two catching up on the last three years of each other’s life. Somehow, they ended up at a point where Carla recounted the first time she met Buck, not expecting the young man to be the one knocking on Ms Abby Clark’s door that day.

“I wonder what Buck is up to now,” Abby wondered out loud.

“Oh he’s still at the 118, putting out fires and saving lives. You know how he does,” Carla said, making Abby pause.

“Do you still speak to him, Carla?”

The other end of the line went quiet, Carla speaking up after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, I do.”

“How often?” Abby questioned.

“Uhhh,” Carla sighed, “Almost daily.”

“Why that often?”

“Look Abby, I have missed you so much and I really want to catch up with you in person but for now I need to go. I think you should talk to Buck though, his number is still the same. I won’t tell him you’re back in LA but you should give him a call.”

“Wait, Carla-”

“I really gotta go Abs, I’ll message you later this week. We’ll get lunch!” Carla cut in, saying good bye as she hung up.

“That was weird,” Abby murmured, tossing her phone onto the coffee table and leaning back into the soft couch.

She didn’t know what possessed her to do it but Abby decided that she wasn’t going to call Buck. Instead, she was going to the station tomorrow to surprise him. Maybe this wasn’t her best idea but it felt like something she needed to do.

~~~~~~~~

Buck was tired. He was so close to the end of a rough 24 hour shift and he couldn’t wait to go home. It was rare for Buck and Eddie to have different shifts but today was his husband’s day off. Eddie was currently picking their son Christopher up for school so he could bring him to the station in time for shift change. Buck would then take Chris home, help him with his homework, make dinner, maybe watch some TV and then put him to bed. Afterwards, Buck looked forward to crawling into his and Eddie’s bed, cuddling up to Eddie’s pillow the way he always did when they were on different night shifts so he could feel close to him, and fall asleep.

“Holy shit,” he heard Hen say under her breath. They were sitting at the kitchen table, Buck’s back to the stairs. He looked over at Hen, her wide eyed gaze directed behind him. Before he could turn around to see what had stunned her, a familiar voice spoke up.

“Hi guys.”

Buck froze, his heart having skipped a beat in his chest.

“Abigail Clark!” Hen called, getting up from her chair to greet the woman. Buck turned around slowly in his chair. Just mere feet away from him stood his ex-girlfriend. Buck rubbed his eyes, thinking that maybe he had fallen asleep and this was just a dream. But when he took his hands away, she was still standing there, her blue eyes locked on him.

“Hey Buck,” she said, her voice soft.

“Uhh, what-” Buck’s voice faltered, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m back and thought I’d surprise you,” Abby replied, taking in the look on Buck’s face and her smile slipped, “Only now do I realise how stupid that was to do.”

He didn’t know what to say and Hen, thank god for Hen, started to ask her about her trip. Buck was still speechless as Bobby came up the stairs, surprised by what was happening in his stations dining area. He welcomed her with open arms and asked what she was doing here.

“Well as much as I’d love to catch up with you all, I came to see Buck. I think we need to talk,” Abby said, her eyes making their way back to Buck. She gave him a closed lipped smile and Buck took a deep breath, his mind running a million miles an hour. Hen, Chimney and Bobby exchanged a look and Buck wished Eddie was here right now.

Abby had left him without so much as a good bye and while he didn’t think he needed closure, seeing her in the flesh made him realised he did. He had a few things to say to Abby Clark and whilst he didn’t want to do it now, he also wanted to get it over and done with.

Buck was over Abby, he had been for a long time. He was still mourning their relationship when he walked into the station for a shift one day and Eddie Diaz was sitting on a bench in the weight room. After some initial jealous, the two bonded. It didn’t take long for the two of them to become best friends but Buck knew there was more to it for him. When Shannon came to LA, Buck took a step back, not wanting to intrude. He watched as they rekindled their relationship, yearning to be the one that got to spend his life with Eddie.

After Shannon’s death, Buck stepped back up. He was the man Eddie came to when he need emotional support, someone to hold him as he cried and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Buck also helped out with Christopher whenever he could, picking him up from school and taking him on adventures when Eddie needed to be alone.

Shortly after the tsunami and the lawsuit, Eddie had found himself on Buck’s doorstep with a six pack of beers. The conversation flowed easily until Eddie broke down, crying in Buck’s kitchen over how he couldn’t lose him. Buck had had too many close calls. Eddie admitted that the only reason he ever got back with Shannon was to get over his feelings for Buck and when she died, he felt relieved. Of course he was sad, Shannon was an important part of his life and always would be, but it was time for him to move on. And Eddie wanted to do that with Buck.

Buck didn’t say a word, he just closed the gap between them and placed his lips on Eddie’s, tasting a mixture of beer and tears. Eddie spent the night and Buck woke with his head on Eddie’s chest, the other man softly snoring beside him. He was aware that it was very early on in their relationship but Buck knew then and there that Eddie was the man he wanted to marry, the one he wanted to grow old with.

“Yeah, I uh, I think we do,” Buck stood up from his chair.

“How about you clock out early? There’s only half an hour left of your shift,” Bobby suggested.

“Yeah, let me just get changed. We can go to the coffee shop across the road.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Abby said.

“I’ll tell Eddie where you are when he gets here,” Bobby whispered as Buck made his way past him. He nodded his head, telling Abby to meet him downstairs in five minutes. Once in the change room, Buck changed into his civilian clothes. Buck hadn’t thought of Abby in a long time, the void in his life when she left had completely closed off. But the second he saw her, memories came flooding back and all he could do was question why Abby was here. Why after all this time had she come back to LA and sought him out.

“Guess I’ll find out,” he said to himself, slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder.

Abby was waiting for him outside the station, Hen having accompanied her down.

“You ready?” Buck asked, wanting to get this over with. She nodded, saying good bye to Hen. They fell into step with each other, making small talk as they made their way across the road to the coffee shop everyone at the station frequented. The both placed their orders, the barista fulfilling them quickly on an unusually quiet afternoon. Abby spotted an empty table towards the back of the café and Buck followed her to it, taking a seat.

“Let’s not bet around the bush, why are you here?” Buck asked.

“I just wanted to see how you are. When I decided that I wanted to come back, all I could think about was you and the way I treated you. I guess I wanted to apologise for leaving you,” Abby told him.

“I gotta admit, that sucked,” Buck squirmed in his chair, unable to get comfortable.

“I know, it was a horrible thing for me to do.”

“I really loved you,” Buck shook his head, “You were the first person that actually wanted something more from me than just sex. And then you wanted to travel and I was okay with that. But then you just stopped replying. And that shit hurt, Abby. I thought I’d found something with you but obviously it wasn’t the same for you.”

“Buck, I’m really sorry,” Abby said, reaching across the table to take his left hand. She paused midway, her eyes landing on Buck’s wedding ring.

“You’re married?” she asked, confusion on her face.

“Yeah I am.”

“Since when?”

“It will be four months next Tuesday.”

“She’s a lucky girl,” Abby said, a soft smile on her face.

“He’s a lucky man,” Buck corrected, “Actually, I’m the lucky guy. We also have a kid.”

That shocked Abby even more, her mouth slightly agape as she processed this information.

“I didn’t even know you were bi,” Abby said and Buck scoffed.

“Let’s face it Abs, our relationship was never really about me was it.”

“You’re right,” she said, covering her face with her hands as if she was ashamed, “I’m a horrible person.”

Buck felt a pang of guilt. While she had been wrong to do what she did, she wasn’t a bad person.

“No you aren’t. You messed up.”

“At the expense of your feelings, Buck,” Abby said, regret filling her face.

“What’s done has been done,” Buck replied, bringing his coffee mug up to his lips and taking a sip.

“I know that. That’s why I’m here. To apologise, to wipe the slate clean. I’m not saying we should start over, I don’t want to erase what we had. You were good to me Evan Buckley, at I time that I needed it the most. I will forever be grateful for everything you helped me through,” Abby said honestly, the pause in conversation giving her a chance to drink her own coffee.

“You’re welcome,” Buck gave her a small smile, “I must admit, you helped me a lot too. Before you I didn’t really know who I was or if I was even capable of falling for someone for more than one night. You leaving and then ghosting made me take a step back, gave me some time to realise what I really wanted in life.”

“And that’s your husband?” Abby probed.

“Yeah,” Buck chuckled, his fingers brushing against the black wedding band that matched Eddie’s.

“And you’re happy?”

“More than I’ve ever been before… no offence.”

“None taken,” Abby laughed, “So, what’s his name?”

“Eddie.”

“And you have a kid?”

“A son, Christopher.”

“Look, Buck. I didn’t come here with any hopes of getting back together but leaving you will probably always be one of my biggest regrets. You might just be the one that got away for me,” she teased and Buck sighed.

“Maybe. But if I’m being honest,” Buck said, taking the last sip of his coffee and placing the mug back on the table, “I still would have met Eddie. And I can say this for sure, he’s the one. Maybe you and I would have lasted a few more months but I can say with certainty that I would have ended up with him and probably would have hurt you in the process. In the long run, maybe it was better that you left. Saved us from a messy heartbreak.”

“I still can’t apologise enough for leaving you that way I did.”

“Like you said, let’s just clean the slate. I don’t think we can be friends but I’m sure we’ll still see each other occasionally, you know, because of Carla.”

“I was going to ask you about that. You speak to her almost daily? That’s what she told me,” Abby asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Uh, yeah,” Buck let out a nervous laugh, “She helps with Christopher a lot.”

“But she’s a nurse. Is everything ok with him?” There was concern in Abby’s voice.

“He has CP.”

“Oh.”

~~~~~~~~

That was all Abby could say before the bell above the entry door rung. She turned her head automatically, her eyes drawn to a young boy with crutches and a tall brunette man in a tight LAFD t-shirt walked through. They spotted Buck and headed in the direction of their table.

“Bucky!” the kid called, his eyes lighting up at the sight of the blonde man sitting across from her.

“Hey buddy!” Buck called, the smile on his face wide as he opened his arms. As he embraced the child, Abby turned her attention to the other man who was smiling at Buck and the boy. Feeling her eyes on him, he turned to look at her. He gave her a once over, sizing her up with a hard stare.

“Hey Eds,” Buck said with a sweet smile, drawing the gaze of the other man to him. So this must be Eddie… and Christopher. Abby watched as Eddie’s face softened, leaning down to press a long kiss on Buck’s lips.

“Hi _mi corazón,_ ” Eddie said, pulling away from Buck. The way Eddie looked at Buck was something else and Abby could only wish she had someone who would see her the way same way this man saw his husband.

“You must be Eddie,” Abby said, brushing off the feeling that she shouldn’t be interrupting this moment between them, even if it was just a hello.

“You must be Abby,” Eddie replied, his gaze hardening again as he focused his attention back on her.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

Abby stuck her hand out and reluctantly, Eddie shook it.

“You too.”

“And you must be Christopher,” Abby said, the young boy giving her a toothy grin and a nod, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Can I get a cupcake?” Christopher asked, his attention focused on the colourful baked goods in the glass cabinet a few feet away. Eddie and Buck shared a look, a silent conversation happening between them.

“How about you pick one out and you can have it for dessert tonight? Does that sound like a good idea?” Buck answered for him and his partner.

“Yeah! Do you want one Bucky?” Christopher asked, his excitement over the cupcake radiating out of his small body.

“Sure. Why not?”

“I’ll take him. The red velvet one?” Eddie asked and Buck nodded, “Back in a sec.”

“I didn’t realise he was older,” Abby said quietly, tilting her head in Christopher’s direction.

“Oh. Uh yeah, he’s ten now. He’s Eddie’s son from a previous marriage. When we got married, I legally adopted him. He’s mine.”

“Where’s his mother?”

“She died, couple years ago now.”

“Oh, must be tough on him.”

“He’s an amazing kid. He’s stronger than he seems,” Buck said, watching adoringly as Christopher and Eddie came back to the table with the cupcakes in a cardboard box.

“If he has a sugar high tonight, that’s on you,” Eddie chuckled.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Buck beamed.

“I need to get to work, my shifts about to start.”

“I’ll walk you over,” Buck said, turning back to Abby.

“Let me walk you guys out,” she replied. The four of them left the coffee shop, crossing the road back to the station as Abby’s car was parked in the guest lot. Eddie made conversation with her, asking her about her trip. She knew that he was aware of everything that had happened between Buck and herself, there was no way these two had secrets.

“Guess I’ll get going. It was nice to catch up, Buck.”

“Yeah it was good, I think we both needed that,” Buck said. Eddie, who was pretending not to listen, had bent down to tie Christopher’s shoe lace.

“Maybe I’ll see you around one day,” Abby’s arms opened for a hug. Buck hesitated for a second but then stepped forward, hugging her back.

“Maybe.”

“You were never mine, Buck, you belong to him. I can see that,” Abby whispered in his ear, “I wish you nothing but a life full of happiness with these two.”

“Thank you,” Buck said quietly as they pulled away. Abby said farewell to Eddie and Christopher and with one last smile at Buck, she turned on her heel and left.

Eddie didn’t say a word until Abby was out of sight.

“What did she say to you just then?” he asked when she had disappeared.

“That I was never hers, I belong to you,” Buck said, a loving smile on his face.

“Damn right you do,” Eddie stepped closer to Buck, placing his hands on his hips. Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck, pulling him closer and pressing his lips to his husbands.

“I know.”


End file.
